On The Edge

Nothing Wrong With Asking For Help, But....

Not getting it is no excuse to fail. 

Excellence. It's Worth Rooting For.

"I'm rooting for Excellence."

Over the past few days, Toastmasters International, a 98 year old non-profit organization focused on building leadership and communication skills, held it's World Championship of Public Speaking. I've been a member since 1999, and have competed in this particular contest numerous times, finishing as high as 3rd in the World in 2006, top 10 in 2008, and top 20 in 2002, 2007, and 2009.

As a coach, I've worked with many other contestants over the years, all of whom have reached various levels of success. As a 23 year Toastmaster, I've made friends with 1000s around the world - and many invariably end up competing at the highest levels of the contest.

All this to say this - I routinely get asked "who are you rooting for"?

My answer is always this - "I'm rooting for Excellence."

Typically, excellence wins out, but I'm not just rooting for excellence to WIN, but for excellence across the board. Only one can win in a competition like this one, but all can show excellence in their performance, delivery, and/or content.

Rooting for excellence goes beyond Toastmasters, of course. When I can't root for my Iowa Hawkeyes, Colorado Avalanche & Rockies, or Denver Nuggets and beloved Broncos because they're out of contention, I root for excellence. For great games. For legendary performances. If nothing else, I root for outstanding efforts.

Competition which results in only one winner can be brutal. The old saying for those who come in second is that they are the 'first loser' (which makes no sense, because technically they are the LAST loser, but, whatever.) People forget who took second in most competitions. When was the last time you thought about Mondale or Dukakis? Losing in a winner takes all competition puts a beating on self-worth, momentum, and motivation. The focus goes to the result, instead of the journey.

Any journey, regardless of the result, can be excellent. Just ask Bill & Ted.

Your most important journey, fortunately, isn't winner take all. Your LIFE is not a zero-sum game. You aren't competing with anyone else, unless you choose to be competing. Your happiness, your success, your excellence -- doesn't need to be compared to anyone else in the world, as long as YOU are satisfied. Satisfied doesn't mean settling, mind you. No participation trophies here. 

Satisfied means you've defined your own victories, and protected them against the expectations of others. Satisfied means taking pleasure in your own progress and production, celebrating it, and using the your personal victories today to push you toward more personal victories tomorrow. Without allowing the outside world to tell you you haven't achieve anything, haven't arrived, and need to just lay low until you reach THEIR definition of success, their mountaintop, their victory.

Who are they to define you? Who are they to determine your effort, your excellence? They only have power when you pass it over to them - be it in open competition, the workplace, a relationship - your success is your choice, unless you let it be their choice. 

You can choose to WinAnyway, and celebrate today to prepare for continuing tomorrow. Even if you take a step back, even if technically you LOSE, you can find your own victories in your own journey. You can celebrate your moments of excellence.

Cyril Junior Dim is the 2022 World Champion of Public Speaking. The contest started with roughly 30,000 people competing, including me. That makes 29,999 losers. Some lost quickly, some lost eventually, a few lost at the last possible moment. But all had the opportunity to show excellence - and regardless of how it stood up against the excellence of others, or the judgments of those called to sift through the speakers in search of their subjective choice of the best - they each achieved something worth celebrating.

By choosing to WinAnyway, you can focus on excellence, versus competition. Perhaps your excellence will lead to you winning some sort of contest against thousands of others. Cool, if it happens. But your excellence is personal. When you put your excellence in the hands of others, it may be minimized or even invalidated. Which is why you have to protect it. Recognize it. Protect it. Use it for tomorrow.

And always....Root for it.

SpeakAnyway Speaking Tip #26: Mindset Pt. II

You're going on stage in 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 30 seconds....NOW WHAT?

SpeakAnyway Speaking Tip #25: Mindset, Pt. I

Skills and content aren't enough if you don't have the right mindset about your speaking. Editors Note: Speaking of tech issues, my computer reset last night (thanks Bill) so my microphone default changed. Hence the echo.)

SpeakAnyway Speaking Tip #24 - They Love Me! Or Do They?

Going From Creative Avoidance to Creative Confrontation

 

First heard the term 'creative avoidance' at least 15 years ago. It's a great term to soften the blow when you don't want to face the fact that you're simply procrastinating - putting off the important, the valuable, the HARD tasks, in favor of something that feels productive, is easy to do, and creates a dopamine surge.

That might be something truly worthy - like spending an hour getting an oil change for your car. Or a couple, doing it yourself - then you'll really feel good about yourself. Maybe you suddenly realize the laundry and the dishes need to be done, and, by golly, you'll really feel better in a clean environment. Or, it's getting to that next level, or five, of Candy Crush, or leveling up on Halo. It feels GOOD, doesn't it? You DID something. But, you didn't do what you originally set out to do - finish important paperwork, write a few pages in your book, send out 10 marketing inquiries - whatever it was you knew you should do, but just didn't want to face.

I'm great at creative avoidance. I literally have it scheduled into my day. Each day I'm supposed to listen to an audible book, read 20 pages in a real book, read my 'Bible in a Year' email, and extend my consecutive day Kindle reading streak. Because, that makes me feel good. Doesn't help me market myself, though. Creates virtually zero money - though I'm learning some good YouTube strategies right now in Brian G. Johnson's YouTube Ritual.

Scheduled creative avoidance isn't all, of course. And I am almost to level 4100 on Candy Crush Soda. I expect a large sum of money soon from King.

What's the solution? Heck if I know. I'm 54 years old and I haven't beaten it yet.

Small victories have come when I work with scheduling time for important work - short bursts of 15 minutes (or 17 Minutes lately, thank to Darren LaCroix's recent book). Sometimes I actually lose track of time and get 30 full minutes of important work done. Other times, I just write another article for LinkedIn.

My biggest successes, though, come when the sh*t hits the fan. I'm great at last minute work. Deadline work. Gotta get the money to pay the rent work. Which, for me at least, is indicative of the real problem. Creative avoidance sends us to pleasure to avoid pain - one of the oldest motivational maxims around. Deadlines force us to the pain, and the only pleasure that moves us away from pain, is actually doing the work.

Which means, perhaps, the best solution is to increase your deadlines. Purposely increase your pain. Go beyond your 'why' - push past it to envision your 'what if I don't'. What's your worst case scenario? Is it bad enough to get you past your creative avoidance? If you don't believe you can truly end up in a worse situation by continuing to do what you're doing, it's easy to just stay where you are. Envisioning lots of money, big houses, private jets - for most people, we just don't really believe it's possible, or even necessary. But if you could lose your house, your spouse, your life - that's real. That can push you forward.

And you might just go from 'creative avoidance' to 'creative confrontation' - and work harder than you thought possible. And end up on that private plane you never thought you needed. Or at least a decent Honda Accord. Then you'll REALLY be living your #WinAnyway Life!