Head to Mouth Disconnect

It sounded SO profound in my HEAD!

It looked SO funny on PAPER!

But...But...it FLOPPED!

Yeah, that'll happen. Head to mouth disconnect. In fact, it happens a lot. When we think or write about what we're going to say, we hear it perfectly in our heads, and the audience reacts exactly as we think they should. Unfortunately, two big things can go wrong:

1. We don't deliver it the way we told ourselves we were going to deliver it. Lack of practice, change in mood, sudden onset of self-consciousness when we see who has actually shown up in the room...plenty of reasons can get in our way if we aren't 100% certain of the quality of our material.

2. The audience hears with their OWN minds, no OURS. Darn them anyway. Don't they know that was funny, profound, sad? Idiots. Even if we ARE 100% certain of the quality of our material, those percentages can drop quickly once the spoken word hits the live audience.

The two areas of your speech most at risk for Head to Mouth Disconnect? Your conclusion, and your humor. What sounds funny isn't always, particularly if you don't know your audience well enough. You conclusion is at risk mostly because it's the last thing you write, instead of the first. If the conclusion isn't fully supported by your speech, no matter how profound, it won't stand up in the end.

Hidden in between - your stories. Those anecdotes that you believe are simply perfect, but aren't. You just can't see it from the trenches. Stories that you have force - the square peg in the round hole - simply because it moves you, so you HAVE to share it.

While Head to Mouth Disconnect is not completely preventable, there are precautions you can take, and prescriptions after it happens.

A. Practice. A lot. At home in your living room is good. Finding a Toastmasters group, hiring a coach, speaking at service clubs, is better. Take your material out for a test-drive where the audience is supportive and/or the consequences are minimized. If you don't practice, what can I say? You get what you deserve.And if you don't practice and everybody loves you anyway, you're probably a celebrity - or their boss.

B. Be Mindful of Your Mindset. You've had a crappy day. You fought with your spouse before you walked out the door. You got a speeding ticket. And sometimes, life is really going wrong - your father died, your daughter has been diagnosed with a tumor, or there's a layoff at work. And here you are, supposed to go deliver a message with humor and hope.

That will throw off anyone's delivery. If you can't or don't want to get out of the speech, you've got to do a different kind of disconnect - your head from your life - just for that event. Focus on the audience and the outcome. Leave everything else out of your head, and go pick it up later. Easier said than done - this I know from personal experience. But if you are aware, you're more likely to deliver the speech you need, and want, to give.

C. Film & Watch yourself. Filming is relatively easy. Watching not so much. In fact, my clients usually refer to it as torture. Still, its essential - watch with the mindset of the audience, feel their response if you have a copy of a public speech, and take notes on what works and what doesn't. If you simply cannot film, at least get an audio recording app on your phone so you can LISTEN to it afterward. No excuses.

D. Be a Merciless Editor. I know it's your favorite story. Your funniest line. Your cleverest of clever wordplay. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Go in with a strike-through state of mind in your word processor. Then read it without those lines. The universe hates a vacuum, right? Trust in yourself that you'll find something better.

E. Be a Quick Healer. That means both self-healing, such as your ego, and being a healer, by rewriting your speech. Usually your flops are only flesh wounds, and they look worse than they are. They still need attention, but they won't kill us. The more dangerous cuts come when our flops interfere with our message by deadening the audience response, inadvertently contradict our intent or ideas, or tear down our credibility.

Head to Mouth Disconnect. It's only terminal if you ignore it.

What's the worst case you've ever experienced? Share below, even if it just happened to 'a friend'.

Meanwhile - go out and Speak....& Deliver!

Your Real Message is in the Gooey Center

Tootsie Roll Pops. Oreos. Twinkies, may they rest in peace. 

They hold inside of them the secret of your best speech. The gooey center in each completes the experience. Sure, the candy shell, crunchy cookie, and spongecake is good, and some even say it's the favorite, but for most, the chocolate, white frosting, and whipped cream filling are the payoff. And for the sake of today's post, I'm not going to split cookies - or hairs.

Lets face it - some speakers never get past the wrappers. They'll tell you something without any style, dialogue, or humor. They preach, teach, and train you until you decide whatever's inside isn't even worth getting to any more.

Good speakers, use stories, dialogue, humor, changes in pitch, volume & meter, and occasionally even a little acting to keep you involved, and stay memorable. We enjoy listening to them - but if they stop there, it's like biting into a filling-challenged Twinkie - empty and disappointing.

What's the Gooey Center, then?

It's the part of the speech that actually MEANS something. The part of your message that transforms and moves your audience. At first glance, you probably won't even see it. Remember your first Tootsie Roll Pop, before you knew it had a Tootsie Roll in the middle of it? You can't even tell it's there at first glance.

Your message is just as easily missed, by YOU. You're writing that story about fear, and boy, it's funny. You scream and run on the stage and everything.  Your audience howls and loves it. That seems good enough. It Isn't.

You have to break through the surface.

Why are you afraid? Because you might die? Fair enough. Then what? Kids have no father? Then what? You didn't prepare them financially? Then what? You didn't say what you always wanted to say? Go deeper. You don't know if your kids know you love them? That might be it. You never taught them to love themselves? Oooh. You might be there. Or it may lie even deeper. Ask Shrek said - Ogres have layers. Speakers better have them too.

You can't always find your Gooey Center alone. Even the average round of feedback isn't usually enough. Find a coach who's willing to ask you the hard questions, and be willing to answer them. My best speeches all came because I had my coach, Tom Cantrell, and several World Champions of Public Speaking, including Randy Harvey, David Brooks, Jim Key and Darren LaCroix asking me questions at various times.

Now that I'm spending most of my time coaching - I'm the one asking the hard questions, helping my clients find their Gooey Centers, so their audience gets the complete experience of the treats they are sharing. It's not easy. Sometimes it means dealing with issues you don't want to deal with, or sharing stories and ideas you'd forgotten about. Being a speaking coach is the next best thing to being a bartender, or occasionally a psychotherapist. Just ask my coachees :)

Don't stop at the wrapper, or even the crunchy or spongy exterior. Dig deep. Take a big bite. 1 - 2 - 3 - CRUNCH. When you taste the Gooey Center, you're ready to Speak & Deliver!

How Paul Harvey Can Help You Find Your Speaking Niche

Guess who's cool again? Or, perhaps for much of today's generation, cool for the first time, at least for a day or so? Yes, none other than the venerable orator/preacher/radio personality Paul Harvey.

Growing up in Iowa, Paul Harvey was on the radio twice a day, once in the morning, once at night, always speaking in his authoritative yet soothing, reassuring bass tones, first about general news of the day, then launching into one inspiring or ironic anecdote or another. Twists were his trademark, as he would tease us in the beginning, then hawk a product or two before telling us "...the rest of the story".

Today he's in the news thanks to the Dodge Ram Truck commercial during the Super Bowl. It was certainly in the Top 3 of 'Best Commercials of the Day' - and was my personal favorite. Watch it below:

Was Paul Harvey a great speaker? Or did he simply speak extremely well? Does it matter? I think it does, both for speakers coming up in the business, and those who will hire them.

Yes, he was amazing, and I loved listening to him. But he was less a professional speaker than an entertainer, a newscaster, and, ultimately, a straight up raconteur. He told stories without making a hard, obvious point - using his style to infer what he was telling us, but leaving it up to us to decide what his instruction was. Whereas today's keynoters combine telling great stories with giving clear directives, the style of Mr. Harvey was to let his audience decide for themselves what he was really saying.

This is not to downplay Paul Harvey in any way. His style was his greatness, and likely a product of his generation and upbringing.

It is also a tremendous illustration of the wide variety of opportunity public speaking offers to those who pursue it, and clarify the difference for people looking to bring public speakers in to their event.

Do you want an entertainer? A comedian? An invocator for a short minute or two (as Paul Harvey did so well)? Do you want pure inspiration, without a call to action? Do you want a spokesperson? Do you want an actor doing a monologue, even an actor coming in as, say, a dead president? If you bring a celebrity, do you care what they say beyond them telling their own story? The pendulum can swing the other way as well - perhaps what you really want is a trainer or instructor.

As a speaker, knowing what you want to be will help you find your audience, and your success that much faster. As a meeting planner, understanding precisely what type of speaker you need will increase your chances of a successful event.

Paul Harvey was a speaking treasure, and a wonderful part of the fabric of American broadcasting for decades. And it's not like he couldn't give a decent keynote with a strong call to action. Take a look at this copy of his commencement address for Wheaton College in 1961. It's just not what he's famous for - not the niche he found for himself, and his speaking talents.

How will you choose to use your voice to Speak & Deliver? You don't have to be a keynoter. You don't have to give 4 day seminar trainings. Sometimes it's enough to simply be profound for 2-5 minutes - and your audience will find you. And treasure you forever.

Below is a full example of his 'Rest of the Story' style...

Save Yourself from Post-Seminar Depression Syndrome!

There's a million public speaking programs out there. Well, almost. They come in pretty clam shell sets of DVDs and MP3 downloads and Teleseminar/Webinar/YouTube trainings, from some of the top names, and sometimes the not-so-top names, in the business.

The same people that provide these products put on live seminars - 3-5 day programs in exotic locations that cost anywhere from $300 to $5,000 dollars (food, travel and lodging not included), promising you a weekend with the experts, a transformational event that will put you on your path to speaking, if you just put into action every step they outline for you.

This is all well and good - there's a market, and the information can be strong. These products, programs, and deluxe working vacations are usually put on by legitimate, top-notch speakers, who earnestly want to inspire you to do something you've never done, and they put their all into their programs. They are providing a service people want, and I consistently hear how wonderful attendees feel when they get back.

But then, you walk back in your front door, and...reality hits.

"I've sat through/listened/watched an 8 hour/3-day intense program/teleseminar series/workshop, and I still don't have a speech?!? I have a 175 page workbook that I actually have to follow? I have to get myself booked? I actually have to DO SOMETHING?

Hey wait, what about a message? They told me how to find a message, but how do I know I've found it, that it's good enough, and that I'm doing it right?"

Poof! The air comes out, uncertainty creeps back in, and the money and the time is gone. I call it Post-Seminar Depression Syndrome - which is very similar to Post New Year's Resolution Syndrome...

Now what? All that information you just paid for is useless if you just put it up on your shelf, waiting until 'you're sure'. Even the people who sold you and trained you for a weekend will tell you that. They also know that most of the people who come will leave excited, educated, and yet still do nothing. It's not what they want, but it's part of the business.

How do you make sure you don't come home and go Poof?

What you need is a Who - a coach - someone to help you find your message, craft it, practice it, and encourage and hold you accountable to deliver it. Speaking coaches abound these days, and all have different levels of experience, and a diverse set of skills and training styles. Some of the legitimate seminar leaders will offer personal coaching, if they have the time and you've got the money. But they can't coach EVERYONE, and it might be the right situation for YOU.

A while back, I did an in-depth post The 7 Questions You Should Ask When Hiring a Speaking Coach.
For review, those questions were:

1. What's at Stake
2. What's their Real-World Experience
3. What's their Speaking Experience
4. What's their Location
5. What do Others Say
6. What are You Willing to Spend
7. How do You Want to be Coached

On my side, I can be choosy with who I work with. Not everyone is an ideal fit with every coach, or client. I work closely with my clients to help them find and refine their messages, construct their presentations, and hone their delivery skills. Closely can mean in person, by Skype, by phone, or simply by email, and it also means repeatedly. I rarely allow for a 'here's your critique, what's your hurry' client. It doesn't serve either of us well.

As we go deeper in, we'll get into the nuts and bolts of marketing, scheduling, creating products, etc - but it all has to start with the right message, delivered the right way.

So go, spend your thousands of dollars, get excited, and come back armed with information and charged to change your life, your career, and your financial future. Then call me - and we'll sit down and work through it all together, and make sure you honor the promises you just made to yourself and your future audiences.

To Speak...and Deliver.

(Disclaimer: I reserve the right to someday offer large, expensive seminars, clam shell encased DVDs and YouTube trainings. A guy's gotta eat, right?)

Are You Wasting Your Audience's Time?

You've got such an amazing story. You survived a plane crash! You cut off your own arm to escape certain death trapped in the Utah mountains! Maybe you even started a computer company out of your garage and became a multi-zillionaire!

So? 

"But, but, I'm a celebrity! But, but, I did something really cool and unusual! But, but, people hire me because they want to hear me speak about it all!"

So?

"But, but, I'm a great speaker, I use the stage, make eye contact, and get laughs!"

So. Freaking. What?

Yes, you can get hired with a good story. You might even get hired a lot. People may even love you, and talk about meeting you, and Facebook a picture of you standing next to them...or at least a cutout of you.

It isn't enough. 

If you don't tell your story in such a way as to change at least a portion of your audience in some way, you're wasting their time. Change what?

Their opinion.

Their mindset. 

Their actions.

You don't have to change them from one position to another, necessarily. Maybe you are reinforcing them in the concept, changing the intensity of their present belief. But they must Think, Feel, and Do differently, or at least have been given the opportunity to do so, when they leave your presentation.

How did you FEEL differently about life after your plane crash? How can I FEEL that way without getting into a plane crash myself? Why is it important I FEEL this way?

What changed your THINKing so you could cut off your own arm? I'm probably never going to deal with this, so how can this change of THINKing work for me? How does it affect my life?


You were lucky - lots of people start companies and fail miserably. What did you DO that set you apart, that I can also DO, even if I trim trees instead of build computers?

They may clap. They may smile and shake your hand and tell you how awesome and funny you were. But what's next? When you find it, you'll be spending your audience's time wisely, and yours, as you Speak & Deliver.

Need help finding your message? E-mail me at Rich@RichHopkins.com, and we'll find it together!

Make Your Speech the Soundtrack of Their Lives

John Williams

The Sound of Music

Jaws

Star Wars

Superman the Movie

Jurassic Park

Harry Potter

Could you hear the music from any or all of those movies in your mind after reading the title? Can you now? Sorry if I've put Rodgers & Hammerstein or John Williams in your head for the rest of the day. Even as I write this, I'm listening to my 'Movie Soundtrack' station on Pandora.

Music has way of embedding itself in our memories, and connecting to our life experiences. The song that played when you met your spouse, that you may have again played at your wedding. The music you use while you work out, while you study, while you write. I even used music to memorize the Periodic Table.

Music stays with us because it repeats, because it often has a simple beat or lyric refrain, and because it connects with us emotionally.

What if your speech could do the same thing? If you could embed your stories and points in your audiences brain so that it became part of the Soundtrack of their Lives?

I'm not talking specifically about music, though some top speakers intro and outro their speaking engagement with theme music.

No, YOUR speech soundtrack is your speech anchor, or series of anchors. Phrases that embody your points and your speech purpose in just a few words. Phrases that resound in your audiences heads as they leave. Phrases that, when said in a setting years later, brings back echoes of the speaker, and the ideas they passionately shared from the stage.

They are often referred to as 'Foundational Phrases', or more popularly, 'the Phrase that Pays'.

For my Toastmaster readers, the 5-7 minute format of most speeches lends itself to a single phrase, supported by 1-3 stories or examples. Ryan Avery used this method to maximum effect in his 2012 World Championship Speech, "Trust is a Must"

.

In a longer speech, it's possible to use more than one phrase - as long as they all build to the overall speech tone. Movies will often shift styles of music and create variations on a theme, while still pushing the story to one ultimate conclusion. Your phrases must do the same thing. If you have a memorable phrase for each 5-7 minute segment of your 45 minute keynote, you create a framework under your ultimate theme.

The phrases can be as few as two or three words, or as long as 8-10. They should indicate action, invoke emotion, and/or reflect results. Often, the most memorable phrases become short-hand for longer phrases, and ultimately branding for the speakers themselves.

See You at the Top! - Zig Ziglar

Eat That Frog! - Brian Tracy

It's Possible! - Les Brown

All memorable phrases - all both stand on their own, and as a piece of a larger speech or program. I'm sure you can think of a dozen more from your favorite speakers.

Whether you're putting on a keynote filled with inspirational stories, a workshop with more practical exercises and applications of your concepts, or just speaking for a few minutes to promote a singular point, finding your Soundtrack, your Phrase (or Phrases), will help you be a better speaker, and give your audience longer-lasting results. All of which will, as the saying states - help you get paid.

Like a great, pulse-pounding soundtrack, your speech needs to build emotion, and you must anchor your ideas in the minds and hearts of your audience with repetition, rhythm, and resonance to ensure they remember what you've said long after they leave your presentation. You want them using your phrases in their daily life, advising their peers and employees with the wisdom you've shared.

The ultimate moment, when you know you've successfully managed to Speak & Deliver, is when the Soundtrack of your speech becomes part of the Soundtrack of their lives.

What are your favorite phrases that have stayed with you from speakers over the years?

SPEAK the Movie in Arvada, February 19th!