Gestures - 7 Questions Before You Make a Move

Marcel Marceau 1946-2007

Grab A Rope

Inside an Imaginary Box

Moonwalk

The Lean

Climbing a Ladder

All famous Mime routines - and I've seen them all from speakers on stage. For the most part, these gestures are planned, though I'm sure one can spontaneously ad-lib a practiced move with experience.

Natural gestures often include raising arms up in exuberance or frustration, pointing, fist-pumping, pointing, showing high vs. low & wide vs. narrow - we're used to using these gestures in regular conversation, though they can certainly be planned and built into a presentation.

The more I read other speaking coaches blogs, the more I see the admonition come up against 'planned gestures'. They claim such gestures come off wooden, mistimed, or over-the-top.

I beg to differ. Planned gestures only look wooden, mistimed, and over-the-top when they are poorly planned and under-practiced. Gestures are nothing more than silent words. When words are poorly used, they sound terrible and distract from the speech. When gestures are misused, the same problem arises.

We've all seen wooden gestures from speakers who are less than practiced - they say "I looked at the grand mountain-scape" and THEN sweep their arm, because they know they are supposed to, but forgot to do it as the spoke the line. It is these offenders that coaches rail against, and who give 'planned gestures' a bad name.

I agree that too many big 'planned gestures' - such as rope climbing, swimming in a river, or driving a car - can distract from the speech, and even cost credibility. But I've also seen speakers literally fall to the floor, ski from the top of two chairs, and roll on the floor as they landed from an airplane jump - effectively.

As for natural gestures, they too have their downfalls. For too many, its natural to continually talk with their hands, to point at people, or use the same gesture over and over to no effect. Unless you learn to plan which natural gestures you'll be using, you could end up looking repetitive or disorganized, at best, or at worst, plain rude.

So plan your gestures - from your simple arm movements, movements from right to left, and shoulder shrugs to your 'Thinking Look', your "He's Safe!", to your "Imaginary Box", if you must. Just ask yourself these seven questions before going ahead with them:

1. Does it help make the point?

2. If you don't do it, will it hurt the point?

3. Is it easy to do?

4. Do I have more than one grandiose, planned gesture every 5 - 10 minutes?

5. Is it an anchor move - one that I will use repeatedly? Should it be?

6. Can I do it while speaking the line?

7. Do I have time to practice it enough to make it look 'unplanned'?

Bonus Thought - this is where filming your practice is invaluable. How do you look when you do these gestures? As good as you thought? What adjustments should be made?

I believe in planned gestures the same way I believe in planned words. With practice, you are able to mostly say what you want to without memorization - but there are some phrases you MUST get right. With practice, gestures work the same. You'll train yourself to be natural with your average gestures, and you'll practice your way to some incredible movements that will be memorable and effective.

And unlike the world of mimes, you'll be able to Speak & Deliver, not just Act & Deliver!

2nd Bonus Thought - notice in this video there is 'over-acting' - because they had no words at their disposal. You do - scale it back just enough to combine your words and actions effectively.

Toastmasters Friday: The Quest for the Trophy

Yesterday I posted a quote on Facebook from the Dallas Maverick's Dirk Nowitzki - a comment he made in post-game press conference following his team last victory over the Oklahoma City Thunder to send them into the NBA Finals.
Dallas, for those of you non-basketball historians, lost in the NBA Finals in 2006 to the Miami Heat, who, ironically, will be their opponent yet again. That year they faced a still powerful Shaquille O'Neal and a young, healthy Dwayne Wade. This year, they face Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James, who teamed up over the summer to create a team of stars whose only success will be found in winning a championship themselves. 

Here's the quote: 

"We can enjoy it for a day, but we got one of those trophies already, and it didn't mean anything in the end. I think once you get to the Finals, there is no second-place finish."

Uh-oh. In a couple of weeks, there's going to be some unhappy folks whose entire season will be a complete waste of time, whether they reside in South Beach or the Lone Star State. Many players on both sides have made it to the championship series before - and I'm willing to bet they all echo Dirk's sentiment.

It led to an interesting series of posts throughout the day, and even into this morning. People wondered if he was minimizing victory. Others commented that they understood, and 2nd place isn't always great, no matter how many others were in the race with you. The Zen responses discussed the importance of the journey over the destination. 

Toastmasters, of course, has its own championship competition, and after this weekend, all 81 contestants will be determined for the semi-finals August 18th - 9 contests to determine 9 winners who will vie for the World Championship of Public Speaking. I am one of the 81 this year, for the seventh time in the last 10 years. And I totally get Dirk's comment. Yet, when I think about his statement in Toastmasters terms, despite understanding Dirk, I both agree and disagree with him. 


Why I disagree:


A. It's a New Year - every year, the competition is different, from the other speakers to the judges to what the audiences want to hear about. We're different as speakers, and our connections to our stories strengthens or weakens over time. For me this year, I was in an all-new district - one that boasts many WCPS contestants over the last 12 years, as well as the 2000 winner. It's also a bigger talent pool - bigger than both my past two districts combined. The fact that I was able to pull out a victory here is huge for me. I was out of my comfort zone, knew very few people ahead of the District Conference ahead of time, and didn't know what to expect out of my competition. Regardless of Vegas, this is a victory I will cherish.


B. The Journey DOES Count - even when you've been on it before. Dirk is a 9-time All-Star, consistently made the playoffs, and come up just short after being up 2 games to none in the Finals. Me? For the past 11 years, I've competed in this contest. I've gotten lost going to the Area Contest and missed it (2001), lost at division and watched others compete at the next level, taken 2nd at Division and competed and won District anyway in a District that sends 1st and 2nd forward, gone OT at Region, finished 2nd at Region three times, finished third at the Championship, and finished out of the running at the Championship. This year, I only made it to District because the person who beat me couldn't make the District contest. Every year I've learned something about Toastmasters, about speaking, about myself. Dirk, when all is said and done, has likely learned to be a better player and a better teammate along the way. There is victory in the process, if not the victory most of us focus on in the midst of competition.


C. There is Always Something More, Different, or Better - even for Dirk. He may think his legacy in the NBA rides on winning a championship. But once he wins it, he will think his legacy rides on winning another one. In Toastmasters, once you win it, you're done. But even then, there's more. It's not instant success, it's not a final peace, unless, I suppose, you get hit by a truck on your way out of the conference center. (If this happens to me, please bury me with the trophy...) Even if Dirk or I or any of the other 80 speakers who go home a 'loser' this year, there is always something more. For Dirk, he's got millions of dollars to invest into business, and maybe a shot in the broadcast booth. For me, I'll trade my opportunity to win a championship for being remembered as a great dad and husband, and a successful speaking career. Many a Toastmaster has gone on to be very successful as a speaker without ever bringing home the WCPS trophy.


D. We Have an Example to Set - Dirk is a role model to millions of kids around the world. I'm a role model to six kids under my roof. If we set winning as the only goal, what does that say to our kids when they take 2nd at the science fair, or fail to get cast into the school play? Yes, I want my kids to be competitive. Yes, I want them to strive to be their best. But when there's only one ultimate winner - there will always be worthy contenders that lose out, even if they would have been as good or better than the winner going forward. I want my kids to take victories in the process and the effort, even if the result isn't what they expected or hoped. (Which means I should now take my 2nd place Topics trophy out of the car and put it next to it's slightly larger, 1st Place International twin...)


Why I agree - just one reason really - Because I'm Human. Humans want what we want - whether its grades or relationships or money or happiness - and when we get so close to something we've dreamed about for years, we get the concept drilled into our heads that we're weak for being happy 'just to be there'. Win Win Win! Just Win Baby! Nobody Remembers 2nd Place! (Robert MacKenzie, actually, in 2010). In those private moments, most of us feel just like Dirk does when we come to the precipice of a glorious victory. We just don't have press conferences to catch those unguarded moments. 


So I've got 85 days to accomplish a goal I've had in my mind for over a decade. So do 80 others, including at least seven speakers who've been to the Finals before, and several more who've made it to the Semi's before, and several more besides who have been working for years just to win District for the first time. Folks - we're all winners. By 11 am August 20th, all but one of us will be losers, to one degree or another, until we reframe our perspective to focus on the journey, and the example we will set.

Eventually, even the winner, once the rush is gone, will sit and think to themselves - OK, now what? Marilyn Monroe once said "Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one." Even Spock once said "After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."

Regardless of results, we are speakers, with a message worth hearing. Now what? Simple. Go Speak & Deliver, and you will Win Anyway.

For the last few months, I've been writing contest-oriented posts, as Toastmasters International's Spring Contest season begins, and with it, the International Speech Contest, which annually produces a World Champion of Public Speaking. Prior posts include: Why Contests are the Best and Worst Events in Your Speaking Career, Why Does International Become Inspirational?, Are the Contests Fair?, The Top 8 Ways to Guarantee Victory, and I Lost My Contest: Now What?

Can You Speak Like Oprah?

25 years of the Oprah Winfrey Show ends today. Most of us have heard her rags to riches story many times - I won't repeat it here - suffice to say she's proven her skills, her versatility, and her worth over the years in countless ways. What matters to us as speakers is how she did the one thing that mattered more in her career than anything else along the way - how she connected with her audience:

Questions - At a very basic level, Oprah is an investigative reporter. Over the years, she learned to ask better and better questions, to more and more interesting people in tremendously diverse situations. Unlike a Barbara Walters or a Morley Safer, Oprah's questions were most often aimed at emotional truth. As a speaker, are you getting in touch with your audiences emotional truth?

Share Your Struggle - Over the years, one of the biggest storylines of Oprah's life on camera has been her weight. We've watched her shrink and inflate numerous times, and after the first few years of hiding it, she began sharing her triumphs and struggles. She made it all OK for her viewers, and they loved her all the more when they realized that even with all the resources at her fingertips, she, too, struggled with everyday issues like weight. Do you share the struggle, and just tout the result?

Give 'Em What They Want - Many of Oprah's shows featured high-powered guest stars, entertainers, and even the occasional 'freak show' - bringing the most extreme possible situations out into the light. While Oprah is often considered the most legitimate of talk show hosts, and the least prone to sensationalism (other than when she gives her audiences cars or flies them all to Australia), she still knows she has to give the audience what they want. If Oprah doesn't do that, if we don't do that on stage, we won't be able to effectively take the next step.

Give 'em What They Need - This is the next step. Oprah routinely tackled tough issues with transparency and honesty. Addictions, abuses, and apologies became real, accessible, and believable on Oprah's show. Whether talking about health, sexuality, religion, literacy, responsibility, or a multitude of other important areas of life, Oprah wasn't afraid to put our vices, shortcomings, and mistakes out for all to see. She even made me want to read Steinbeck.

Be Self-Assured - Oprah seems to have an unwavering belief in herself - and she keeps that image up around the clock. She knows there are millions more that either hold her in contempt or despise her than love and respect her and her work. She knows her every move is being watched and judged. Even under the harshest of lights, she has held up, and put the naysayers, and even those that would betray her, behind her. Speakers often talk of the importance of believing in their message. Belief in yourself ranks even higher in importance.

Be Accessible - Oprah continually added ways for us to get to know her and her life, whether by expanding her subject matter, going behind the scenes, adding guests (Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and so many others) to provide new perspectives, or creating new ways to communicate with her audience with a magazine, a strong web presence, a book club, and now, a network! How many ways can people access your information and your attitude? You may not have a daily show, but you can blog a few times a week. What are YOUR 25 favorite things? Who do YOU hang around with?

Be Positive - Oprah's smile and laugh are infectious. Nearly every show ends on a positive note - whether its and attitude switch or an action step for the viewers. She doesn't leave us in a state of depression, no matter how depressing the topic. When your audience leaves with hope and direction, they'll come back again - in Oprah's case, day after day for 25 years.

It's true, you probably won't become the next Oprah. But she's a prime example of someone who Speaks & Delivers. She's changed the world's expectations when it comes to communication and inspiration. Whether you loved her or hated her - learn from her success!

Toastmasters Friday : Are You About to Get Burned?

(Since I am now officially in 'contest mode' in preparation for the District 26 Conference tonight and tomorrow, today's Speak & Deliver post is by my friend and fellow Toastmaster Dwayne Windham, a Past District Governor in District 55. If you would like to become a guest blogger, please email me with your thoughts!)

In any volunteer organization, there is inevitably a core group of people that are knowledgeable, reliable, and easy to work with. Whether you are working with a Toastmasters club, church, or PTA group – we all have that tendency to lean on our “go to people”  because you know they will get the job done, get it done right, and with minimal drama. The problem is that this often results in members of that core group being massively over-used and becoming burned out. As the Toastmasters year reaches the final stretch, and our new officers are developing their plans for the upcoming year, it seems appropriate for us to delve into the subject of Burned-Out Toast(masters).

Who has a potential to become burned toast?

…a person, who judged 23 contests this past contest season, serves as two club officers, a District officer, and holds a full time job
…spending 4 days of the past week at church events, including all day Sunday and the next and the next…
…spending three of four Saturdays in a row with day-long Toastmasters events….

I personally see this happen with excited new Area Governors that end up taking on much more than perhaps they intended to. Now of course, the easy response is to tell people to “learn to say No”.  While that is certainly part of the equation, as part of a volunteer organization we need to help create events and structures that support a diverse group being involved and carrying the load.

Are we encouraging people to take time off when needed?

While it is always nice to fill in slots for your next slate of candidates early or easily by carrying over people – take the time to really look at your “roster depth”. Make a genuine effort to be looking out for potential new volunteers and avoid carrying over people for year after year. Let them have some time off to recharge, get some perspective and pursue other projects.

Do we make a full effort to properly train additional people for roles requiring specific knowledge?

Especially for technical roles involving sound, video, or websites – it becomes very easy to fall into a pattern of leaving one person to fulfill the role until the end of time. Each of these areas has crucial knowledge they can lose in the event the person becomes suddenly unavailable. Make sure there are apprentices or backup people involved in each of these areas to ensure that your primary person can take time off when needed, and preserve the tribal knowledge gained from experience.

Are we consolidating sparsely attended events that require heavy staffing and support?

Often tradition can be exhausting, and we continue putting on events that have poor attendance and heavy staffing requirements because no one ever wants to “let go”. We don’t want to be the one that says “it’s OK to let go now”. Be the one willing to give permission – to let people stop carrying around burdens if they are not truly being effective in fulfilling the purpose of your organization.

Do we value our volunteer’s time by being efficient with meetings, training, and avoid “meeting for the sake of meeting?”

One of running office jokes is about changing the standard meeting length from 30 minutes to 20 minutes, or from 1 hour to 50 minutes. Consider how much these little things can cut down on stress for those running from one meeting to another. Very rarely has someone convinced me that all of the items on their agenda for a 1 hour meeting could not be accomplished in 50 minutes.  How would this apply for your group? Toastmasters International has wonderful material about How to Conduct Product Meetings.

When surveyed about job benefits, people over and over again cite the desire for more time to spend with their families. For many of us with busy lives, the greatest thing we are giving you is our time – treat it as a treasured possession and we will feel rewarded. You won’t have to buy so many thank you trinkets, because you will be showing me how much you value me by valuing my time.

Our guest blogger, Dwayne Windham is a past Division Governor from District 55 Toastmasters in Austin, TX. He has worked as part of Dell support for the past 13 years. Dwayne enjoys helping people understand technology and address problems in a realistic, straightforward manner.

Contact info:

dwindham@gmail.com is the best email address,
Facebook at http://facebook.com/dwindham

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/dwaynewindham

Think, Speak, & Deliver

It's amazing how often we speak without thinking.

It seems like life was a lot quieter when I was younger than it is now. That people thought before putting their foot squarely in their mouth. Of course, that perception is just a cross between nostalgic perception and the fact that as a kid, I never payed attention to what anyone was saying anyway.

It's almost impossible not to pay attention today. Between 500 cable channels, the internet, and the constant beeping of smart phone news updates, reports of rampant stupidity are just a YouTube away. Athletes and celebrities spout off on Twitter and lose endorsements and jobs voicing web-footed animals within hours of their ill-advised rants.

Gilbert Gottfried, no longer a Duck

But technology only magnifies what has existed for years - the innate ability for people to stick their foot in their mouths in a moment of uncertainty and stress.

Today there's a report that Lars von Trier has been banned from the Cannes' film festival for blowing it the old fashioned way - by speaking off-the-cuff in an interview, trying to be funny, but revealing a bit too much about himself. Invoking the name of Hitler is always a dangerous road. Joking about him is near suicidal in the arena of public opinion.

Lars von Trier

Off-the-cuff speaking can be intimidating, humiliating, damaging, and dangerous. It can also reveal moments of helpful honesty, insightful information, and spontaneous brilliance. How do you help create more of the latter than the former?

1. Pause. Don't just say (or Twitter) the first thing that comes to mind. A few seconds of silence isn't a bad thing in this situation, and won't even be noticed in most cases.

2. Restate or Reframe the Question. This buys time, improves understanding, and helps you formulate an appropriate answer.

3. Use Periods. Instead of a long, run on answer, be willing to stop. The second between sentences could be a second for you to use better judgment.

4. Shut Up. If you feel yourself going on a tangent - be willing to stop talking. Just say - "but let's not go there" and put the interviewer back on the spot.

5. Practice. If you're in these situations often, drill yourself ahead of time for potential question and answers. In the kitchen, in the car, in the shower - anywhere but in front of the microphone. Inexpensive practice in front of a less judgmental audience than a horde of reporters can be found at a Toastmasters near you.

As speakers, we spend a great deal of time carefully crafting every word we say on stage.

As humans in today's communication-driven society, we must now, more than ever before, work at crafting what we say in them moment, as well. We must Think, Speak, & Deliver.

Oops! Speakers, Get Your Facts Straight

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." — Martin Luther King Jr.

A few weeks ago, in the wake of the U.S. SEAL team's successful mission to capture/execute Osama Bin Laden, this was one of the most retweeted and facebooked quotes on the web.

Turns out, he only said part of it - the first sentence is not his. (For a great story going into how this happened - click here.)

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There is an old motivational story about a man locked in a refrigerated boxcar, who left a journal describing his slow torturous death. The next day he is found dead, despite the car not actually being powered up. He froze to death because he believed he froze to death.

Powerful stuff. Also not true.

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And, of course, there's the old story about the Yale (sometimes Princeton) Goals Study - how the 3 percent of the 1953 graduating class with written goals out earned the other 97 percent combined later in their careers. Another great example that is too good to be true - but has been passed around so long between Ziglar, Tracy, Rohn, Robbins, et al - that it is considered fact. It's not true, either.

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It's easy to use stories and quotes from others. It saves us time, makes us look researched, and often makes our point stick with the audience.

In today's copy and paste world, our borrowed thoughts may suffer from a worldwide game of telephone, leaving what comes out the other side warped, incomplete, or downright wrong.

It is our responsibility as speakers to validate and attribute our borrowed material - our responsibility to our audiences and ourselves. While its not always possible to trace a quote to its original source (many quotes have been attributed to multiple people over the years), we still need to find a way to verify that the person we say said it actually did.

When we simply take quotes and stories at face value, we risk a loss in credibility and risk providing our audience with misguided principles. Just because a lot of people believe something to be true, doesn't make it so. Even if, as Brian Tracy said about the Yale Goals study, "it should be."

Do You Feel A Draft?

I was looking through my posts over the last year and a half, and realized something. My blogger dashboard is a bit drafty. I have many posts that I started, but either wasn't in the mood to finish, or I was waiting for a moment when I had more time, or I needed to get additional material.

This is both good and bad. Good that I at least wrote something down, and can come back to it later. Bad that at least one draft is over a year old, and I rarely think to go find a half-started post and finish it.

While everyone tends to have ideas they leave orphaned, only to find they've blossomed elsewhere, often to the tune of millions of dollars - writers and speakers have a special way of torturing themselves. Moleskins, legal pads, sticky notes. Emails to ourselves, story logs, long lists of starred internet stories and sites for 'future reference'. We go that one extra step of keeping our great ideas saved for posterity thinking that we'll get back to them soon - when the time is 'right'.

We do this because we're supposed to - we're all brilliant, and you never know where we'll be when we get the next great idea. They say they created Rite in the Rain products for the military and outdoorsmen, but it's really for those of us who get our best ideas in the shower!

This week, I'm going to go back into my 'savings' and finish a few of those posts. I'm going to drag out my story log and see what new stories I can use to freshen up some of my speeches. Who knows, all those ideas might add up into something amazing!

Where do you keep your great ideas? It's May 16th. A special day called TODAY. Take advantage of today, and go find them again, and decide to use at least one this week. Before they all blow away for good.